Fuschia Dunlop's Smacked Cucumber with Garlicky Sauce

Step One: Purchase Fuschia Dunlop's Every Grain of Rice: Simple Chinese Home Cooking

Step Two: Decide you need to buy practically every spice, sauce and condiment mentioned in book so
spend a small fortune in Hoo Hing

Step Three: Bring newly acquired Chinese pantry back home


Step Four: Do f*ck all Chinese cooking and don't look again at the book for three months

So that happened.


***DISCLAIMER***:I hate cucumber. Like with Elizabeth David's stuffed aubergines and anchovygate, I kinda set myself up for a fail here.

Despite my hatred of cucumber, I thought that maybe miraculously once smacked I might have my eyes open to a whole new cucumbery world. I didn't. Smacking the cucumber, as euphemistic as it may sound, is pretty much just whacking a cucumber with a rolling pin.

Now, I just felt that the sauce while nice enough when you dipped your clean teaspoon in it (read, finger) it then completely vanished on the cucumber. Slightly bemused, I googled the recipe while at work (eek.) and the proportions were completely, utterly different, despite the fact that her intro in the Telegraph and all other wording was precisely the same as in the book. Here is the 'version' that Fuschia wrote for the Telegraph, though it is exactly the same just clearly with far more successful sauce levels.

Another fail, ugh. I would say I would try again, but I really don't like cucumbers...... Next time I'm definitely going to pick something containing an ingredient I actually like.

Recipe Wishlist - Melanzane Ripiene from Italian Cooking by Elizabeth David

Elizabeth and I have not got off on the best foot. For my first experience cooking from a recipe by the doyen of British food writers, a rational choice would be to choose a recipe involving ingredients that I liked; I chose one with anchovies. I really, really don't like anchovies.The assurances that the anchovies would disappear and melt away proved valid, but their bloody horrible taste did not. One would expect was pretty self evident as why would a recipe use an ingredient which then left no discernable texture or taste, making it pretty much redundant, but I was being a bit thick. So, while the capers, the bread, the olives, the aubergine etc. were lovely, the anchovies were rank. So I hate a bite and then practically vommed. I'm not going to blame Liz for this, this was my doing. Here's to attempt number two!

Here is the recipe, as re-published by Jane Grigson (this is openly available on Google Books if you search for the recipe so hopefully I'm not breaking any kind of copyright...)


 In lieu of a photo of the stuffed aubergines, (as that is what the dish actually was haven't really mentioned that, just banged on about the bastard anchovies) here is a sad face to echo my feelings towards anchovies.