A Vortex of Efficiency and Cooking for Twelve

I really, really want to write more on this blog. I have been cooking a lot recently, more so than I ever have and I want to document that, for myself rather than any other reason. As a novice cook, I rely on cookbooks, I am not a natural and I need to be taught. I'm going to take a book every couple of weeks and try and work my way through a few recipes, to try and give myself a broad range of things to cook, but with the security blanket that a cookbook provides; albeit beloved from reading it cover to cover and not actually to date ever cooking from it, I'm looking at you Nigel Slater's Real Food. It's not exactly a novel concept on the interweb, there are hundreds of blogs doing exactly this, but I think it will give me the structure and incentive that I want to push me into utilising this very under-used blog more and in turn I will cook more and blog more and cook more and so on and so forth into a vortex of efficiency.  I wish Cooking for Twelve was the name of yet another cookbook I've bought but rather stupidly I'm having said twelve round for lunch on Saturday and I've given myself, a pretty novice cook, a rather stupid assignment of making three courses........... Part of the process involves 3kg pork belly and 2.5kg butter. Hm.

Brasserie Zedel

I had initially written some huge rambling, boring post about Brasserie Zedel, but have sat on it and not published it I realised that I don't have anything new to add to the reams that is already out on the internet about BZ. It is just a fantastic place. Such great value for money, the most supremely central location in town and a room which makes you feel like you are somewhere far more high-end than you actually are. Really can't fault the place. Really not much more to say! 

Fuschia Dunlop's Smacked Cucumber with Garlicky Sauce

Step One: Purchase Fuschia Dunlop's Every Grain of Rice: Simple Chinese Home Cooking

Step Two: Decide you need to buy practically every spice, sauce and condiment mentioned in book so
spend a small fortune in Hoo Hing

Step Three: Bring newly acquired Chinese pantry back home


Step Four: Do f*ck all Chinese cooking and don't look again at the book for three months

So that happened.


***DISCLAIMER***:I hate cucumber. Like with Elizabeth David's stuffed aubergines and anchovygate, I kinda set myself up for a fail here.

Despite my hatred of cucumber, I thought that maybe miraculously once smacked I might have my eyes open to a whole new cucumbery world. I didn't. Smacking the cucumber, as euphemistic as it may sound, is pretty much just whacking a cucumber with a rolling pin.

Now, I just felt that the sauce while nice enough when you dipped your clean teaspoon in it (read, finger) it then completely vanished on the cucumber. Slightly bemused, I googled the recipe while at work (eek.) and the proportions were completely, utterly different, despite the fact that her intro in the Telegraph and all other wording was precisely the same as in the book. Here is the 'version' that Fuschia wrote for the Telegraph, though it is exactly the same just clearly with far more successful sauce levels.

Another fail, ugh. I would say I would try again, but I really don't like cucumbers...... Next time I'm definitely going to pick something containing an ingredient I actually like.

Recipe Wishlist - Melanzane Ripiene from Italian Cooking by Elizabeth David

Elizabeth and I have not got off on the best foot. For my first experience cooking from a recipe by the doyen of British food writers, a rational choice would be to choose a recipe involving ingredients that I liked; I chose one with anchovies. I really, really don't like anchovies.The assurances that the anchovies would disappear and melt away proved valid, but their bloody horrible taste did not. One would expect was pretty self evident as why would a recipe use an ingredient which then left no discernable texture or taste, making it pretty much redundant, but I was being a bit thick. So, while the capers, the bread, the olives, the aubergine etc. were lovely, the anchovies were rank. So I hate a bite and then practically vommed. I'm not going to blame Liz for this, this was my doing. Here's to attempt number two!

Here is the recipe, as re-published by Jane Grigson (this is openly available on Google Books if you search for the recipe so hopefully I'm not breaking any kind of copyright...)


 In lieu of a photo of the stuffed aubergines, (as that is what the dish actually was haven't really mentioned that, just banged on about the bastard anchovies) here is a sad face to echo my feelings towards anchovies.

Easter Monday Cooking Overload Part 1 - Rhubarb and Zero Ginger Crumble

As an adult, Easter doesn't hold the same charm for me that it used to. That desperate panic to eat as much chocolate as you could without anyone stopping you ebbs somewhat when no one really gives a crap. Now the appeal of Easter lies solely with the prospect of four days off. Four. Days. Off. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to school if only to appreciate how damn lucky kids are with school holidays. This Easter bank holiday was rather consumed with starting to dig over the small jungle that is our newly acquired allotment. There are actual trees (albeit tiny ones) on it and weeds which have grown into hedges and bricks and unidentified pieces of metal and so as complete novices it's all slightly overwhelming but thus far has been very enjoyable. I didn't realise quite how much exertion and sweat was involved in digging though, I literally couldn't see for the sweat pouring in my eyes. Plus, it was raining and yet I still managed to get sunburnt. On the plus side, my mum decided to lie down in the dirt because she was so knackered and then some nice bloke went past, clearly felt our pain and handed over 8 sticks of rhubarb from his patch so that was a distinct bonus. We might just hope people take pity on us lying in desperation on the soil and we live off allotment donations, saves us having to dig up the bricks. That does sound like a form of allotment based prostitution though, which really isn't the route I want to be heading down...


Anyway, with our gifted rhubarb in hand, I decided that I would have another crack at the rhubarb and ginger crumble recipe that I made from Leith's How to Cook. I really like this book, for a novice like me it is incredibly clear recipes with none of the usual chat/inspiration/history etc. that usually is present in most cookbooks. The recipe for Dauphinoise potatoes hasn't failed me yet, and trust me, I have buggered up a lot of Dauphinoise in my time.... I'd made the ginger and rhubarb crumble recipe a couple of weeks ago, but I don't think I used enough rhubarb and used WAY too much stem ginger, so it didn't exactly go down a storm with my ginger hating family. So, in light of the ginger fail, I used extra rhubarb and zero ginger. This was lovely and tart and sweet and everything one should expect from a rhubarb crumble. I still LOATHE rubbing the butter and flour together to make the topping though, it sets my teeth on edge.

In light of the fact I totally forgot to take a photo, here is a photo of our jungle allotment.

Recipe Wishlist - Shakshuka from Jerusalem by Yotam Ottolenghi and Sami Tamimi

Over a year after I initially wrote my recipe wishlist, I have FINALLY actually cooked one. As you can see from the post title I chose the authors' version of the baked eggs and tomato dish that is such a staple across  Eastern Mediterranean and North African cuisines. I followed this recipe to the letter as I have zero natural talent for cooking, I'm having to do this from scratch! Having just said I followed this recipe to the letter, I actually didn't as the recipe called for 4 whole eggs and then 4 egg yolks as I didn't have 8 eggs, I just used the three whole eggs you can see in the terrible photo. Now, I don't know whether the lack of eggs is what threw the balance off, but this basically just tasted of tomatoes, there was a slight hint of the harissa but barely any garlic. I was also surprised that the only spices were the harissa and the cumin, I felt it could have done with perhaps more behind the acid of the tomatoes. I still enjoyed it though, all mopped up with French bread. I will definitely, definitely cook this again, though I am going to hunt down some other varieties (perhaps a recipe which starts with onion as felt very odd not having any onion) including additional spices and would love to add some merguez into the mix as well. And no, I didn't make my own labneh... Greek yoghurt had to step in and do the honours

Fingers crossed the next one won't take so long!

It's OK

Thus far I have just banged on about restaurants really on this blog which was never intended to be my focus. I wanted to use this website as a tool for me to document my attempt to learn how to cook as currently my interest and knowledge regarding food far outweighs any actual skill or nous I actually have in the kitchen. Sometimes I feel a little embarrassed about how I can talk the talk but am barely crawling when it comes to actual cooking experience.

I felt that this article on the Guardian has reassured myself that it's ok not to know where to start in terms of educating your palette. It's all very well to 'season to taste' but if you can't actually identify what seasoning is necessary then you will end up with a bland nothingness.